When to rejoice and when to mourn

Biggest pet peeve.
I'm in a miserable mood and someone else is just raving about how happy they are after blowing off what I have to say with a simple "I'm sorry."

The bible says we should rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.
There's essentially nothing at all wrong with optimism. But when it makes another person feel hurt or rejected, that's when you need to take a step back and consider what they're feeling at that moment.

Sometimes acting overly excited and happy when someone is sad can be worse than making fun of them.

I mention it because it happens all the time to me.
People blow off how I feel and rave about how happy they are. It can be really mean, in all honesty.
I never want anybody else to feel that way, which is why I choose to obey Romans 12:15:


Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.


Being kind isn't always being happy. It's always being there, relating to a person and being able to support and talk to them when they need it.

~Kiah

I'm baaacccckkkkkkk and also, a message to all teenage girls

Goodness, it's been quite a long time since I've written a blog post for you guys, now hasn't it?

Well, I've cleared up my schedule and set down to write a little something for you.

A whole lot has happened since I've last written and I've gathered a lot of new ideas, opinions and my view on life as a whole has essentially changed, outside of my core beliefs that the Bible is true.

The changes I've experienced have certainly enforced growth and optimism in me as a person.

And since I've had hundreds of thoughts swimming around in my head, I've decided to share a few with you in hopes that maybe they'll inspire you a little bit.

Well anyway, I might as well dive into my first topic. My original intention was to sort of build up to it since it's been a very long time since I've last written, but hey, let's just get straight to it. That topic everyone loves.

Relationships.

As I entered my sophomore year in high school last August, even as a homeschooler, I began noticing how most people my age were either dating, coinciding dating or honestly not caring about relationships whatsoever.

I, however, fell into the category of “I am sad and empty without a boyfriend,” which essentially led to sadness. 
Now that wasn't all that was going on as it wasn't until about September that I really started to feel that way and it only increased on my sixteenth birthday. 
But since then I've learned a ton  about how I, as a young sixteen year old female, should respond to things and view myself and the male gender. 
These are things I've learned from friends, family, books and my own experience and understanding of the Bible. So here's ten really key things to remember about dating and relationships:


1.  LOVE YOURSELF. If you're not confident in yourself then you're not ready to be in a relationship at all. You have to know who YOU are and love yourself. If you're expecting someone else to love, respect and understand you, you should already be doing all of those things to yourself. 


2. CHASE GOD. Do you know what's  hot to a Christian guy? A girl chasing Jesus. But that's not why you should be chasing Jesus. You should be chasing Him because the more you chase Him, the more you'll be following His will and feeling fulfilled even in singleness. It also makes your guy have to chase the Lord harder to catch you which leads to the third point.


3. MAKE IT A 3 WAY RELATIONSHIP. Any real, wholesome and successful relationship is not one man and one woman. It's one man, one woman and CHRIST. Christ needs to be a staple in any relationship if it's going to flourish.

4. LET HIM PURSUE YOU. Guys naturally like to pursue the female. You don't have to play hard to get per se. But let them do what they were made to do. God designed men to lead. So let them lead. 


5. DON'T WORRY. I know its super tough. But I promise God has a plan for your future. The only thing you control is your attitude about not knowing exactly what that plan is.


6. DON'T STOP GROWING. Use the time as you're waiting for your significant other to become the person your future love will need in their life. Never stop. Keep growing and getting better and don't stop having that mentality even as you're in a relationship.

7. DON'T SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST. Know what your standard is. Make sure it lines up with the standard of God and only say yes to that. Dating should have the intent of marriage and spending the rest of your life with someone is huge. So have a standard. He doesn't have to be perfect. Nobody is and if that's what you're looking for, you'll be forever disappointed because humans fail BUT, a sensible standard I find important to always have in the back of your mind.

8. LISTEN TO OLDER FRIENDS/FAMILY. People that have been in relationships and seen the world can give you advice. If they're older than you and they're Christian people you trust, consider their advice. They honestly mean the best for you. I used to be so offended by that. But one of my dear friends as well as my parents have been guiding and advising me a lot lately and it's been extremely helpful and kept me form making harmful decisions. 

9. BE YOURSELF. I'm a different kind of girl. I'm a girly girl but i love wearing jeans and snapbacks and band tees because i really like that kind of dress style. It's what I'm comfortable in and kind of represents my interests. I still wear makeup and such so it's still feminine but to be quite honest, I was rather insecure about how I dressed. It was modest obviously but I used to get made fun of because it's not what all the other girls usually wear. I've learned...this is KIAH. This is who she is. The perfect guy won't care. It's not flashy. It's not inappropriate. It's just different. And that's okay. Because I'm breaking the stereotype.


10. PRAY. No matter what anybody says, prayer is powerful and prayer works.It's super important to always be praying as you wait for the right guy, as you are in a relationship with that guy and as you continue life. Pray in all circumstances. Not because it's on your Christian to-do list. Do it because you want to develop a stronger relationship with Christ and you honestly want what's best, not in your eyes, but in God's.


~Kiah