When to rejoice and when to mourn

Biggest pet peeve.
I'm in a miserable mood and someone else is just raving about how happy they are after blowing off what I have to say with a simple "I'm sorry."

The bible says we should rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.
There's essentially nothing at all wrong with optimism. But when it makes another person feel hurt or rejected, that's when you need to take a step back and consider what they're feeling at that moment.

Sometimes acting overly excited and happy when someone is sad can be worse than making fun of them.

I mention it because it happens all the time to me.
People blow off how I feel and rave about how happy they are. It can be really mean, in all honesty.
I never want anybody else to feel that way, which is why I choose to obey Romans 12:15:


Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.


Being kind isn't always being happy. It's always being there, relating to a person and being able to support and talk to them when they need it.

~Kiah

I'm baaacccckkkkkkk and also, a message to all teenage girls

Goodness, it's been quite a long time since I've written a blog post for you guys, now hasn't it?

Well, I've cleared up my schedule and set down to write a little something for you.

A whole lot has happened since I've last written and I've gathered a lot of new ideas, opinions and my view on life as a whole has essentially changed, outside of my core beliefs that the Bible is true.

The changes I've experienced have certainly enforced growth and optimism in me as a person.

And since I've had hundreds of thoughts swimming around in my head, I've decided to share a few with you in hopes that maybe they'll inspire you a little bit.

Well anyway, I might as well dive into my first topic. My original intention was to sort of build up to it since it's been a very long time since I've last written, but hey, let's just get straight to it. That topic everyone loves.

Relationships.

As I entered my sophomore year in high school last August, even as a homeschooler, I began noticing how most people my age were either dating, coinciding dating or honestly not caring about relationships whatsoever.

I, however, fell into the category of “I am sad and empty without a boyfriend,” which essentially led to sadness. 
Now that wasn't all that was going on as it wasn't until about September that I really started to feel that way and it only increased on my sixteenth birthday. 
But since then I've learned a ton  about how I, as a young sixteen year old female, should respond to things and view myself and the male gender. 
These are things I've learned from friends, family, books and my own experience and understanding of the Bible. So here's ten really key things to remember about dating and relationships:


1.  LOVE YOURSELF. If you're not confident in yourself then you're not ready to be in a relationship at all. You have to know who YOU are and love yourself. If you're expecting someone else to love, respect and understand you, you should already be doing all of those things to yourself. 


2. CHASE GOD. Do you know what's  hot to a Christian guy? A girl chasing Jesus. But that's not why you should be chasing Jesus. You should be chasing Him because the more you chase Him, the more you'll be following His will and feeling fulfilled even in singleness. It also makes your guy have to chase the Lord harder to catch you which leads to the third point.


3. MAKE IT A 3 WAY RELATIONSHIP. Any real, wholesome and successful relationship is not one man and one woman. It's one man, one woman and CHRIST. Christ needs to be a staple in any relationship if it's going to flourish.

4. LET HIM PURSUE YOU. Guys naturally like to pursue the female. You don't have to play hard to get per se. But let them do what they were made to do. God designed men to lead. So let them lead. 


5. DON'T WORRY. I know its super tough. But I promise God has a plan for your future. The only thing you control is your attitude about not knowing exactly what that plan is.


6. DON'T STOP GROWING. Use the time as you're waiting for your significant other to become the person your future love will need in their life. Never stop. Keep growing and getting better and don't stop having that mentality even as you're in a relationship.

7. DON'T SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST. Know what your standard is. Make sure it lines up with the standard of God and only say yes to that. Dating should have the intent of marriage and spending the rest of your life with someone is huge. So have a standard. He doesn't have to be perfect. Nobody is and if that's what you're looking for, you'll be forever disappointed because humans fail BUT, a sensible standard I find important to always have in the back of your mind.

8. LISTEN TO OLDER FRIENDS/FAMILY. People that have been in relationships and seen the world can give you advice. If they're older than you and they're Christian people you trust, consider their advice. They honestly mean the best for you. I used to be so offended by that. But one of my dear friends as well as my parents have been guiding and advising me a lot lately and it's been extremely helpful and kept me form making harmful decisions. 

9. BE YOURSELF. I'm a different kind of girl. I'm a girly girl but i love wearing jeans and snapbacks and band tees because i really like that kind of dress style. It's what I'm comfortable in and kind of represents my interests. I still wear makeup and such so it's still feminine but to be quite honest, I was rather insecure about how I dressed. It was modest obviously but I used to get made fun of because it's not what all the other girls usually wear. I've learned...this is KIAH. This is who she is. The perfect guy won't care. It's not flashy. It's not inappropriate. It's just different. And that's okay. Because I'm breaking the stereotype.


10. PRAY. No matter what anybody says, prayer is powerful and prayer works.It's super important to always be praying as you wait for the right guy, as you are in a relationship with that guy and as you continue life. Pray in all circumstances. Not because it's on your Christian to-do list. Do it because you want to develop a stronger relationship with Christ and you honestly want what's best, not in your eyes, but in God's.


~Kiah   

To add to your resolution

Hey, everybody! I hope you're having a lovely holiday! And I hope your Christmas was as amazing as you are. =) Well, I don't have too much for this post. I was just thinking, I know at least most of  you all have your resolutions all planned out for the new year. Of course, most people don't  even follow theirs, which probably isn't good. Personally, I don't usually have a resolution. But, this year I'm changing it up a little bit. I'm not coming up with some impossible list of goals and wants that will probably never happen. A lot of people (myself included) make that mistake. They try and force things on themselves, when really, sometimes, God isn't ready for you to do that yet. Whatever it may be. Of course, we should take action. And if God is truly putting something on your heart, obviously, we are to embrace it. But, bottom line, don't promise to do a million things that realistically won't even happen. Maybe a couple things. Three or four might be reasonable. But just remember that it's not really in your control. And also, I just wanted you to go into your New Year with a new goal. I want you to be confident. Let me rephrase that. God wants you to be confident. To treat yourself with respect. That respect you're looking for other people to give you? Yeah, that's how God wants you to treat yourself. I want you to love what you love because you love it. Not just because it's a trend. I want you to proclaim things over yourself:
   
                                   I Am Courageous
                                   I Am Determined
                       I Am Unstoppable
                       I Am Victorious
                       I Am Loved
                       I Am Gifted
                       I Am Anointed
                       I Am Blessed
                       I Am Successful
                       I Am Healed
                       I Am Beautiful
                       I Am Whole
                       I Am CONFIDENT
                       I Am Forgiving
                       I Am Grateful
                       I Am Generous
                       I Am Strengthened
                       I Am Kind
                       I Am Joyful
                       I Am Patient
                       I am Peaceful
                       I Am Favored
                                I Am God's Masterpiece and I am a New And Born Again Creation!!!!
Anyway, you guys have a fabulous new years and I pray that you all stay confident throughout the year of 2015. Love and peace!!! ~KJ
        

Reason For The Season

Hey guys! I'm really sorry that I haven't made a new post. You know, 'Tis the season. Well, this has literally been one of the busiest holidays I've seen in awhile for me and my family. And it's all a good kind of busy. All the shopping and gift wrapping and cookie eating and family visiting....It's all been great. But, at the same time, I can't help but reflect on the true meaning of Christmas. And NO. It's not family. Even though family is great, that's NOT the true meaning of Christmas. The true meaning of Christmas is the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I know people tend to be really busy around this time of year, but people also forget to count their blessings and reflect on the true meaning of Christmas. The night that Jesus was born, there weren't any candy canes, pine trees, Christmas TV shows...or even extended family. There was just animals. A stable. His parents...and a few shepherds. The Son of God was born in the simplest way, He lived in the most humble way and was eventually crucified in the most humiliating way. And I"m sure most of America isn't even thinking of the gift given to us on Christmas. In fact, I'm pretty sure we're more concerned about that shiny gift under the tree with our name on it. Not only do we take the true purpose out of Christmas, but we shift the focus onto material things. Like gifts and family gatherings. Now, there's nothing wrong with that. But please, remember the true  gift. Don't get caught up in all the 'wants' of the season. Have fun with your family and make sure your keeping tradition second on your list and Jesus first, where He belongs. =) Oh yeah, and read Luke Chapter 2... aaand you should also watch this really neat video:

Thanks guys! Have a merry CHRISTmas and as always: Keep your head and standards high. Your smile and your dreams big. And Jesus Christ above all. You'll go far that way. ~KJ

A confession to make about 5 Seconds of Summer

I have a confession to make. But before I even get started, I would like to make it clear that some of you will probably get offended my this post. And I also want to make clear that I'm not trying to offend  5 Seconds of Summer and their fans or any other band that falls into this category. But I feel it is my responsibility to put my opinion out there even though  people are probably going to get mad. You're welcome to stop reading at any point. Anyway, I just want to say how much I hate the way some Christians act these days! :( So many people like to get a taste of the world and they're programmed to think it's okay!!! Yes. Multiple times this week I've either been directly or indirectly judged for disliking the band 5 seconds of summer. It's true that I don't like 5 Seconds Of Summer. And I have a good reason why too. They are inappropriate lyrically and as a Christian, I do not feel like they're  the kind of thing I want to be filling my head with. I know there are probably a lot of you guys who are fans of this new band. But guess what? I don't think that's okay. It's one thing to loo up to a band and appreciate their talent or their accomplishments and be a fan in that way. It's entirely another to allow their agenda to become "okay." As a Christian, I think that's messed up. If the song is inappropriate, SKIP IT!!! Don't just listen to it because it sounds good. You know what's right. You have the holy spirit to help you discern that. Don't act like it's okay. Don't act like just because you're a Christian, the lyrics won't affect you because they WILL! I do not promote listening to bad lyrics. I'm not putting any artists as a whole down because most artists will usually have that one song that is acceptable. But my point is, use common sense with what you listen to! Just because you like a band doesn't mean you have to listen to all their songs. No. I do NOT think it's acceptable to go, "Oh, it's just one song. I mean...the other songs are okay so one dirty song won't kill me. I mean, it sounds so good and everyone is listening to it and they seem fine." Guess what? You aren't everybody and you have no idea  how something is affecting another person. Music is a funny thing. It makes you feel things you've never felt before. It changes your emotions. It even makes you view the world differently. That's why what you choose to listen to is huge. It can make you a whole new person. Now, a lot of you guys know I'm a huge fangirl. Well, one of the stupidest things in a fandom is when a person says "you have to do this" or "you have to do that" to become a fan. Well, you know what? I'll decided that. I'll decide how I choose to fan over a band because it's not a big deal. The bands you like should NOT become your gods. And a lot of people don't agree with me. They'll say "You don't understand." But I actually do. Ask any of my friends. They'll tell you I've had my fair share of crazy fangirl moments. But when it becomes your 'religion' or when you elevate it over Christ Jesus, that's when it gets stupid. But just as bad as idolizing is when you excuse bad lyrics! So many people do it. They'll listen to bad lyrics. It's starts with a little bit and then it gets worse and worse and worse until you're listening to all the stuff the bible is against. And I don't know about you but I refuse to accept that. I will not compromise my faith for some stupid band. I will like bands...but I will like them to the extent I choose to like them and not the way somebody else tells me to. Because I don't pick my bands based on what everyone else likes and I just because I like a band doesn't mean that I'm going to listen to all the songs. I might only listen to THREE songs and already like the band because one reason or another. If it is a mainstream band, I pick and choose how far I'll go. And people don't think I'm fan enough. I don't care. I don't follow other people. I follow Jesus. Therefore, I will choose my interests based upon what I think He would be okay with. I do not excuse inappropriate lyrics. That's it. People can just not like me for staying true to my faith. Whatever. But I still stand firm in my opinions. So with my head high I will say this: "I do not like the lyrics of 5 seconds of summer. I find nothing uplifting in the band 5 seconds of summer. I am sure they are nice people. But 'nice' is not what I look for in a band. If you are a 5sos fan, please stop excusing their bad lyrics! They're not funny if they're suggestive. .I know they write their own songs and play their own instruments but look at their messages! Just admit it. They aren't good lyrics so please stop listening to their bad songs! I love you and care about you!!!"  And that is my confession about 5Sos~KJ

Giving thanks...even AFTER the turkey is gone

So, I'm assuming that you've all pretty much finished your thanksgiving. The turkey is gone. I bet most of you had your meal with family. Some of you had it with friends. And that's great. We all had the chance to reflect over what we've received this year and just in life. But I just want to take a moment and ask a question. More specifically, I want you to ask yourself a question. Have you been thankful all year? I mean, really? Well, I just wanted to put a bit of perspective on this holiday season. I was recently reading an article by Charles F. Stanley from InTouch magazine. It was talking about this very topic! Quite frankly, I like the way he put it. Basically, we get so caught up asking God for things that we don't take half as much time to  thank Him for what He's already given us. In fact, sometimes we're so caught up in what  we want that we fail to even be  aware of what God's blessed us with. It's human selfishness, really. We live in such a privileged country (which...by the way, is the reason we celebrate Thanksgiving. So we can give thanks for this country and everything else) that we often forget the core values of life we should be thankful for. The things that we so often take for granted because this country is so used to having it there for them. I know how hard it is to be thankful when there's always those things that we want and feel like are due to us. When, in reality,  nothing is due to us. Because of the fact that Jesus died on the cross for us, we have so much more than we deserve. And really, we shouldn't forget that. People get so caught up in hanging out with family and friends (which isn't bad), that we tend to only be thankful for those things. Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is, have that tankful attitude all year. Think, "What would happen if you wake up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?" Love y'all and stay thankful! :) ~KJ

Enjoying the roller coaster which is life

Well, I'm going to use a roller coaster as my analogy. I was scrolling pinterest, found it and was all like, "Mmm, Imma use this!" So...I guess I'm using it! Lol.  Maybe you've heard the quote before, "Just close your eyes and enjoy the roller coaster which is life" But regardless, I'm going to use the quote solely for the purpose of painting a picture for you. So, when you first get on that roller coaster, that's pretty much when you're born again. When you first accept Jesus into your heart. That's when the ride begins. The ride of life as a Christian. As the ride continues, that represents your life. There are ups and downs on the roller coaster. Good times and bad times in your life. That seat belt that keeps you safe is kind of like God. He's always there. Always holding you. It's just that sometimes, even though you're safe, you kind of freak out when it's not necessary. You have a choice to enjoy your life. Enjoy that roller coaster. Or, to freak out for no apparent reason. He's right there. He won't let you fall. And weather you choose to embrace the ups and downs or not, the same thing is going to happen at the end. You're going to reach the end of the ride just fine. It's just your choice how you react during the journey. Personally, I'd choose to embrace it. With God holding you all the way, why not?? :) Well, lately I've been sort of enjoying that roller coaster as things sort of change for me and whatnot. So, I want to deeply apologize about not blogging lately but I love you guys so much and I'm hoping to have several more posts out before the end of the year! :D ~KJ